What Not to Write in College Essays

What Not to Write in College Essays March 11 Bustle has a great piece on things college applicants have written about in college essays things they never should have ever written about. Like losing ones virginity. Oy! There is an article up on Bustle by Rebecca Jane Stokes entitled 17 College Admissions Officers Share The Craziest Things Theyve Seen on Applications that we figured wed share with our readers. We love these kinds of articles. Theyre always filled with salacious stories. And we blog about college admissions every day, so weve got to keep things interesting, right? If only for our own sake! So anyhow, lets cut to them juicy tales from admissions According to the piece, One admissions officer commented: I got a handful of kids each year writing their college essays on losing their virginity. Always cringeworthy.† Wed say so! Why would a high schooler ever think to write about losing his or her virginity? Thats entirely too personal and inappropriate.  Many students choose to lose their virginity in high school. But that doesnt mean that Harvard is going to admit them for doing so. So why on earth would a student spend the valuable real estate of the Common Application Personal Statement discussing such? Oy vey. Heres another tidbit from an admissions officer quoted in the piece: There was one applicant I remember who turned in an admission essay detailing his time as a clandestine operative for the CIA and informing us that he was the guy who invented the M16 rifle. The second was easily researchable on the internet (seriously, did he not think we’d Google that?) and the first†¦well†¦yeah. First of all, if this applicant really was a clandestine operative for the CIA, then why on earth has he or she shared this to colleges? This person clearly cannot be trusted. But, of course, this person was not really a clandestine operative for the CIA nor did this person invent the M16 rifle. Did this person really think making a mockery of the college admissions process and lying would lead to admission? Oy vey. Another admissions officer wrote in: Got a little scared of a kid who wrote an essay about someone’s murder. Never figured out if it was a personal story or a work of fiction. Holy cow. Do you really think that a university would ever consider a student who writes such an essay? Even if the student has perfect grades and perfect test scores, this is the kind of Personal Statement that will do the applicant in. Dont murder people. And dont write about such murders in college essays. But, mostly, dont murder people. You know, were having quite a lot of fun dissecting such ridiculous college essays so were going to return to this discussion tomorrow. Stay tuned.